You're starting to think about your son's Bar Mitzvah or your daughter's Bat Mitzvah... but if you've never planned a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah before, the planning process can be quite daunting. It's tempting to type "Bar/Bat Mitzvah planning" into Google, however if you do that you will find loads and loads of sites that, at the end of the day, are portals for vendors - but you're not ready to go down that route yet! (Although if you register for the Forums on those sites you may find that chatting with other bar Mitzvah parents to be very helpful). If you want some quick and easy tips to guide you as you start your Bar Mitzvah planning, this is the place to look!
1. Start well in advance. The longer you have to think and plan before you actually need to commit to anything, the more prepared and confident you will be. You can start thinking about your son's bar mitzvah a year and a half before!
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2. Be organized: Buy a notebook for keeping your planning and research notes, and a folder for keeping any prospects, price quotations, handouts etc.
3. Download a Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah planning timetable to help you keep to a reasonable schedule. Do your research: What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? How do you want to celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? What different ways or style can one celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
4. Since you started well in advance, you have time to think about the actual content of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Remember, your child is becoming a functioning member of the Jewish community. Ask yourself what this means to you, what does it mean to him? How do you want this to be reflected in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah itself? Remember, Bar/Bat Mitzvah isn't just the party; it is the process in which the child will grow in Jewish awareness and commitment. What do you want your Bar/at Mitzvah child to come away with?
5. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah often consists of the service in the Synagogue/Temple, and the party in a different location. Think about which local Synagogue/Temple you identify with, and contact them to talk about dates.
6. Set a date for the ceremony and the party. The date is based around your son's or daughter's Hebrew birthday. Make sure that the date you set doesn't clash with any holidays.
7. What is your budget and then draw up a guest list. I found this, but have never used it, but it looks helpful http://www.evite.com/app/party/calculator/view.do
8. What type of event do you want? Morning, afternoon, night? Weekday, shabbat, festival? Intimate, big? Etc. Once again, speak to friends or forum buddies about the advantages and disadvantages of each of these.
9. Choose a location for the party
10. Find mentors for you! You're nearly ready to think about vendors, themes, center pieces, mitzvah projects etc! Speak to friends who have "been there done that" to find out who they would recommend. Ask them for tips and pointers, and also ask them what mistakes they made or what to avoid. Here is where the online forums are useful. There are whole virtual communities of Bar/Bat Mitzvah parents at different stages of their simcha for you to connect with!
11. Learn the Torah portion: You can find out from your Synagogue/Temple who they recommend, or if they have a formal learning program. You can also ask friends for references for good teachers.
12. Find out if there is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Year enrichment program in your Synagogue, Temple, School or JCC.
13. Choose the theme of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You can connect it creatively to your son's Bar Mitzvah Portion, a Jewish idea or value (tsedaka, family). Go ahead and Google "bar/Bat Mitzvah themes", you'll get loads more ideas from there...
14. Interview and choose vendors. Speak to friends and get recommendations.
With that we've covered the big details, there are many smaller details, and we recommend that you consult you Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Schedule for further details.
Most importantly remember, this is your child's Big Day! They are celebrating their Bar/Bat Mitzvah! Let them have an appropriate amount of involvement and choice in the planning, and make sure that the occasion you have planned is something that they will look forward to and want to remember!
Good luck and mazal tov!
Planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? 14 Easy Tips to Get You Started!
written by: Tali Tarlow
Jewish Speech Writing Consultant
We write speeches for every Jewish occasion including Bar Mitzvah speeches and Bat Mitzvah Speeches (for parents and children), Jewish Wedding speeches (including groom, bride and "best man" speeches), speeches for Brit Milah or Simchat Bat, speeches for Jewish educators, Rabbi's and community members. For more Bar Mitzvah tips see http://www.yourjewishspeech.com/bar-mitzvah
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